Respawn Point

It’s been four years since my last post. Four years of living and trying to figure things out. Now I’m here again, trying to write.

So let’s begin.

2020 was about survival.

My life was falling apart. My marriage ended, and the lockdown made everything harder. At that time, the goal was simple: just get through each day.

I bonded with people in Attack Arena. Some stayed, some didn’t, but all of them mattered. Those connections helped me more than I expected, and I still remember them.

That was also the time of my “slut phase.” I got into hookup culture and met a lot of different people. Some experiences were good, some weren’t. I learned a lot, even if it wasn’t always clear at the time.

At the same time, I got deep into gaming, especially TTRPGs. Looking back, those were some of my best years in gaming. It gave me something steady when everything else felt unstable.

2021 was when things started to change.

I didn’t just want to survive anymore. I wanted a better life.

Seeing my kids again after the lockdown made that clear. I knew I had to do better, not just for myself, but for them. I started making changes, small but real ones.

That year, my goal was contentment. Just having a life that felt right.

2022 was a turning point.

It was the end of my “slut phase.” I don’t regret it, but I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. It was fun at times, but it didn’t make me happy.

I wanted something more stable.

That’s when I entered a relationship that pushed me to grow.

She was someone who already had her life together. She didn’t need me to be okay. That made me realize I had to step up—not for show, but for real. I needed to grow, to have goals, and to understand what I could bring into a relationship.

2023 brought something new.

My youngest daughter was born.

It changed everything. The sleepless nights, the stress—they didn’t matter as much when I saw her smile. It made everything feel worth it.

2024 was about improving.

I focused on my family and my work. It wasn’t easy, but it felt right. I was trying to build something steady.

2025 was when I became more focused.

Before, I was just working to earn. Now, I wanted more from my career. I wanted to do something that mattered, something that had an impact.

If 2020 to 2024 was about living and becoming better for others, then 2025 was also about doing something for myself.

And now, I’m here.

I’m going back to other things I enjoyed or wanted to learn like reading and writing. Things I set aside before.

If I had to sum up the last six years of my life, it would be this:

It was tough, but it was worth it.